


Road of Recovery

by cosmeticxanity



Category: IT (2017)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Child Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorder, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, PTSD, Self Harm, Suicide, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-15 01:24:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13020324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmeticxanity/pseuds/cosmeticxanity
Summary: At age 15 when Richie Tozier attempts suicide and ends up in a mental rehabilitation institute, he meets six other people that are on the road of recovery. Little does Richie know, these people end up becoming his best friends and one person even becomes the love of his life. While Richie struggles with his mental health, he learns to love who he is and love the six people who will be with him for the rest of his journey.





	1. Richie Tozier attempts

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guyssss, this is just the introduction sorta but you get to know Richie a bit. Stay tuned for the next one! It should be out tomorrow or so :)

Richie sat on the top of his unmade bed with his head in his hands. Everything had just come crashing down on top of him, it felt like he couldn’t breathe. His mother had finished yelling at him and his dad, and had passed out on the kitchen counter with a bottle of alcohol clutched between her timid fingers. His father had already left, telling Richie he had to go back into “work” as he stormed out of the house. 

Richie stood up and paced back and forth in his room as he tried to think. Did Richie really want to do this? He didn’t want to put up with his mother abusing him and his dad neglecting him anymore. He didn’t want to deal with being outcast at school. He was known as the “class clown”, cracking jokes and making everyone laugh and happy. He sat with a group of friends everyday, but they weren’t his friends. They didn’t care about Richie, no one in that hell hole did. It was Richie against the world, no one to stand by his side. He had never felt more alone. 

Pulling at a sheet of paper, Richie scribbled some words on it and walked up to his past out mother, leaving the sheet of paper beside her. Inhaling a sharp breath, Richie made his way to the bathroom and locked the door behind him. He ran the water in the bathtub and pulled something out of the bottom drawer, and stepped into the water with all of his clothing on. 

Richie’s dad, Gregory, had gotten off the phone and was about to start the car when he realised he didn’t have any keys to start his car. He dreaded going back into the house, he didn’t want to feel guilty as he passed Richie’s room or feel embarrassment when he passed his wife. He stepped back into the house and shuddered. As Gregory passed Richie’s room, he noticed that Richie wasn’t sitting in his bed like he always does when his mother has an episode. He hears running water from the bathroom, and Gregory’s heart skips a beat. 

He’s just having a bath. He does that sometimes. Gregory tells himself.

As he nears what he has to call a wife, he notices a crunched up sheet of paper beside her head. He looks at it to reveal Richie’s hand writing, scrawled and hard to read, giving Gregory an uneasy feeling as his eyes slowly glazed over the page. 

Sorry mom, sorry dad. You never cared for me, no one does. This is for the best. Dad, I know you won’t be home until tomorrow and who knows when mom will wake up. See you. Love Richie. 

Gregory dropped the sheet of paper and ran to the bathroom, twisting the handle to notice the door was locked. 

“Richie! Richie, open the door!” Gregory yelled. Hearing nothing but running water, he kicked the door open, revealing water all over the floor, the colour of the water being light red. Richie was in the tub, redness surrounding him and his clothes soaked through. His glass lay cracked on the bridge of his nose, his eyes half open. 

“Oh god… Richie!” Gregory yelled. He pulled Richie out of the tub, blood pouring out of his wrists. His glasses fell in the bathtub, sinking to the bottom. Gregory screamed out of Samantha, his wife, and to his surprise she came rushing to the bathroom, screaming as soon as she saw the state Richie was in.

“Richie… my baby… oh my baby… what happened, Gregory!” Samantha screamed out as Gregory was pressing cloths against Richie’s wrist. 

“Call 911!” Gregory demanded, Samantha staggering to the telephone and calling an ambulance.   
TWO DAYS LATER

Richie’s eyes fluttered open to his his mother standing beside him. As soon as she saw him, she gasped. 

“We need a doctor!” Samantha called out behind her. 

“What… where am I…?” Richie slurred. 

He felt a pain in his left wrist and looked down to see a white bandage, and it all came back to him. A nurse came rushing into the room with a doctor behind him. 

“Good morning, Richie. How are we?” The doctor asked him, pulling out a clipboard from inside his jacket. 

“I’m fine,” Richie answered. 

“Good, good. Well, I’ve got some news. The, er, incident caused a lot of havoc amongst your parents. Scared them half to death. But all is well, don’t worry son. You’re going to be going away for a while, though. You’ll be transmitted to a mental health hospital where we can properly look after you. You’ll be there for a month at most, but if you’re not doing too well with progress then we might bump it up to two. That sound good to you?”

Richie stared blankly at the doctor. “No fucking way.”

His mother gasped. “Richie!”

“What? Surprised by what my voice sounds like, haven’t heard it in a while, have you?” Richie snapped. “I’m not fucking going to that psycho ward. Why would I?”

“Calm down, Richie,” the doctor said calmly. “You don’t have a choice, our main mission is to keep you alive, and the only way we can do that is to send you to the other hospital.”

“Yeah, keep me alive, not fry my fucking brain!” Richie yelled. He went to jump out of bed, before being push back by the nurse. 

“Richard, please calm down.” His mother scowled. Her knuckles were white from gripping the bed frame, and her face was abnormally calm but her eyes were raging. 

Before Richie could do anything else, the nurse stuck a needle in his neck, making him drift off to sleep. 

THE NEXT DAY

Richie woke up in a panic, his breath quick and his skin crawling. He looked around and noticed he was in a small room with a single bed and a small desk in the corner. He was wearing a light blue shirt and light blue shorts, with white socks. Richie’s glasses were repaired, and his arm was stinging with pain. He swung his legs off the sides of the bed and stood up, losing his balance slightly. 

Richie stumbled over to the door and opened it. He walked out into the hallway and followed it to the end, making a right before coming across two large doors. Within the large doors he could hear people talking and laughing, and a television that sounded incredibly old was only just loud enough. He pushed open the doors, and fell onto the floor as they opened. The talk and laughter stopped as Richie swore aloud. 

He looked up to see a large, bright room full of people. And by “full”, he meant around six or so people. There were a few small tables with card packets or board games in one corner, a corner with a few cushions, a corner with a door and a security guard standing beside it like he’s the terminator. In the corner closest to him, there was the television with two large couches and an arm chair. The six people were huddled together on the couches, staring at Richie. 

He slowly got up and dusted himself off. “What a great first impression,”

In the group, there were five boys and only one girl. The girl had long, red hair that was tied up in a pony tail. She was smiling softly at him, while the rest of the boys were gawking at him. 

“Well, take a picture lads, it’ll last longer.” Richie boasted. 

“Richard Tozier!” A voice boomed down the hall, making Richie and everyone else jump. 

A young nurse was rushing down the hall, her face full of worry. “Richard! You weren’t supposed to leave your room,”

“How was I meant to know that?” Richie asked. 

“The sign on your desk clearly said. Come now, Dr. Jean wants a word.” The nurse furrowed her eyebrows and grabbed Richie by his left arm. He winced, and the nurse instantly let go. 

“Oh.. I’m-” The nurse began to say. 

“Forget it, Shirley Temple. Let’s go,” Richie snapped. The nurse had big blue eyes that looked like she was about to cry. He walked ahead of her, sighing. 

What a great first fucking impression indeed, Richie thought. 

;

Richie entered a room where a young woman was leaned over a desk typing away on her computer. Her glasses were hanging on the bridge of her nose, and as she looked up at Richie she smiled. 

"You've woken up! That's good news. My names Margaret Jean, but most people call me Dr. Jean. How are we?" Dr. Jean asked, closing her laptop.

Richie sat in the chair in front of her and looked around her large office. There were a lot of file cabinets jammed against a wall, a on the bare wall were photos of ancient art. "I'm fine,"

Dr. Jean took off her glasses and looked at Richie. "That's what we want to hear. Just need to chat with you a little bit. You're here so we can help you get better. If something happens to you while under our watch, we will take full responsibility for you. There are six other people in your age group, so you've been placed on the fifth level of this institution. Overall there are seven levels because we only care for the teenagers in the Main institute. 

"You will go to group therapy with your age group every morning after breakfast, and then individual therapy after lunch. Most of the day you will hang about in the recreation room, but then there will be school lessons for two hours, and then dinner. Your nurse should give you your timetable,"

Richie furrowed his eyebrows. "When do I get to see my parents? How long will I be here?"

"You will be here for a month at the least. If you're not progressing, we may bump it up. You will have family time twice a week for an hour. Any more questions?" Dr. Jean smiled at Richie. 

"Uh... no... no I don't think so."

"Great! I will let Nurse Cary to guide you back to the recreation room where you'll meet all of your peers. See you in a bit, Richie."


	2. Richie Tozier is Introduced

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie meets some of the people he'll be staying with for the next month or so, and he gets the impression that some of the people don't like him very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw guys! I didn't think people would be loving this story as much as you all are now! Makes me so happy <3

The nurse led Richie back into the recreation room and forced him through the doors. Richie had stood still as the nurse tried to lead him over to the six people staring at him. 

"Richie... come on... you'll have to talk to them eventually," the nurse whispered to him. It didn't make Richie feel any better, so he just stood there. 

The nurse sighed. "Hey guys, why don't you come over here?"

Richie froze even more. He didn't want to meet them, he didn't want to meet anyone. He had been there for twenty minutes or so, and he had already been embarrassed and scolded. 

The first person to get up from the couches was the girl. She looked at everyone else and raised her eyebrows, making two of the boys get up rather fast. There was a large boy who looked rather sick and a lanky, skinny boy who looked sad and confused, and they followed the girl over to where Richie was standing. There were three other boys sitting on the couch, refusing to look up at Richie. One of them had curly hair and was sitting very straight, and another one was a small boy who kept fiddling with his hands. Richie was very interested in the boy who kept fiddling with his hands, but decided to let it go. On the last couch was a black boy who was reading a book. He looked to interested in the book to even know what was going out in the real world. 

"Come on, boys. Say hello to Richard," the nurse said. The girl followed by the two boys stood in front of Richie and smiled at him, Richie smiling back. 

The black boy instantly put down his book and marched over to Richie, smiling the whole way as if he were happy to be in a place so daunting and poisoning. It made Richie feel sick. 

Lastly, the two anxious boys picked themselves up and walked their way over to Richie. 

"Everyone, this is Richard. You may have seen him beforehand, but now you get to meet him! Isn't this exciting?" The nurse smiled brightly at the boy with the curly hair. 

"Actually, it's Richie. No one really calls me Richard, it's kind of a dick name." Richie laughed. The girl let out a small laugh, only to stop as on as the nurse shot her a look. 

The nurse furrowed her eyebrows. "Okay, Richie. That language isn't allowed in a place like this, so be careful from here on. How about we introduce each other?"

Awkward silence hung through the air. 

The girl stepped forward. "Hey, I'm Beverly, Beverly Marsh. Nice to have someone new around here."

Richie smiled at her politely.

The fat boy spoke up next. "My names Ben Hanscom."

Then, it was the lanky boy. "Uh, my names B-b-bill D-denbrough. I'm sorry for my stutter, it gets in the way a lot..."

"But you're working on it, aren't you Bill?" The nurse beamed at Bill, only to receive an awkward smile back. 

The black boy shook Richie's hand. "Hey, my names Mike Hanlon."

Richie enthusiastically shook Mikes hand, and smiled at him. 

"I'm Stanley Uris," the boy with the curly hair mumbled. He looked at the floor the whole time, and wouldn't make eye contact with Richie. What was this guys deal! Was Richie really too sad to look at?

"And I'm Eddie Kaspbrak." The small boy took a quick look at Richie, then looked down at the ground while blushing. Richie raised his eyebrows at him, but he wouldn't make eye contact. 

"Great! Now that you guys have met, I'll give you guys some alone time! Group therapy is in ten minutes, so don't share too many secrets!" The nurse smiled at everyone and quickly exited the room. 

"Bit of a giveaway that she didn't like us," Richie joked. 

Stanley Uris finally snapped up to look up at him. "More like she doesn't like you,"

"Stan!" Beverly snapped. 

"It's true. He's been here for twenty minutes and he's already made a nurse hate him." Stan mumbled. 

"Okay, why don't you shut the fuck up grandma and go get a personality," Richie readjusted his glasses. "You haven't met me and you're shitting on me."

Stan rolled his eyes and walked off to one of he corner tables, Eddie following close behind him. Beverly walked up to Richie. Mike went back to the couch and opened his book. 

"I'm... fuck, I'm sorry. He's been having a really bad week here. He almost got out but was set back a month, so he'll be a bit angry for a few days. Are you okay?" Beverly asked. 

Richie nodded. "Yeah, I'm all good. Noodle hair over there needs to chill, though."

Beverly snorted. Ben walked over protectively over Beverly. "Hey guys,"

Richie looked between Beverly and Ben, and caught the picture. Richie did think him and Beverly would have had a chance, but he can't steal someone else's girl. Bill came over just as Ben said that, making Richie even more confused. 

"You seemed p-p-pretty distraught back there, when you c-came in before. Everything all good?" Bill asked. 

"Yeah, I just didn't know where I was for a solid five minutes. Just the usual," Richie waved his hand. 

Bill, Ben and Beverly laughed. Beverly was about to say something before an alarming bell starting to go off. 

"What the fuck?" Richie jumped. 

Beverly started laughing. "Calm down, Spider-Man. It's just to let us know that it's time for group therapy. I know, the nurse said it would be in ten minutes, but nurses aren't very good with the concept of time."

"One time, a nurse woke us all up at 6:30am, and when breakfast wasn't served we all had to wait in here for an hour, hungry and tired," Ben rolled his eyes at the thought of the memory. 

"They seem pretty slack, the nurse straight up grabbed my arm back there... I didn't think they were allowed to touch us like that, are they?" Richie asked. 

"Well, they're not. B-b-but they do it anyway. One time, they h-hit Stan." Bill explained. 

"Yeah, but they did that for a reason." Beverly crossed her arms, clearly uncomfortable with the conversation.

"TIME FOR GROUP THERAPY. YOU ARE EXPECTED TO BE IN B3 IN APPROXIMATELY TWO MINUTES." A voice rang out through the speaker. 

They all moved out of the recreation room, and walked towards the therapy room. When they reached it, inside was a young guy holding a clipboard sat in a circle of chairs. 

"Oh, hey guys! Take a seat in the circle please," the man said. When everyone had taken their seats, Richie sat in between Bill and Beverly, the man with the clipboard smiled at Richie. "Hullo, my names Paul, and welcome to our group! We'll just go around the circle and get to know each other, and then you can say some things about yourself! Now, I want you to start, Eddie. Say your name, your favourite colour, a fact about yourself and what you like to do." 

Paul spoke very fast and was rather fidgety, making Richie believe he might have ADHD. 

Eddie looked around the room nervously. When his eyes met Richie's, he quickly looked back down at the ground blushing like how he did before. Richie smiled at him. He thought he was extremely cute. 

"My name is Eddie, my favourite colour is red, I have asthma and I like to keep things clean, I guess..." 

"Very good, Eddie! Stanley, your turn." Paul smiled brightly. This guy was too happy to be sober. 

Stanley shuffled in his seat and stared angrily at Paul. "My names Stan, my favourite colour is blue, I'm Jewish and I like bird watching." 

Richie had to stifle a laugh. Richie should have seen that one coming. 

Mike spoke without being told to. "My names Mike, my favourite colour is green, I live on a farm with my grandad and help out a lot. I love working with animals, the book I'm reading is about how to care for them, it's so interesting. Maybe I could lend it to one of you guys," 

"That'd be great, Mike." Ben said. 

"Moving on," Paul pressed. 

Ben cleared his throat. "My name is Ben, my favourite colour is purple, I have two cats, and I like to spend time with my friends." 

"Very nice, Ben. Beverly, your turn." 

"Oh, okay," Beverly crossed her arm. "I'm Beverly, my favourite colour is red like Eddie, I'm an only child, and I like to design clothes."

"Very cool, Beverly. Your turn," Paul smiled. 

Richie shivered as Paul smiled. "Uh, I'm Richie, my favourite colour is orange or light blue, my glasses have been broken numerous times but when I woke up they were magically fixed, and I like your mom."

Paul sighed. "Richie, that's inappropriate. Moving on."

"My names B-bill, my favourite colour is orange, like Richie's, I have a s-s-stutter and I like to draw and write."

Paul was gripping the edge of his clipboard and his face had gone white. Bill and Richie made eye contact, worrried expressions covered both faces. 

"Sorry, but this session has to end a little early. You're all instructed to go to the recreation room, or your rooms...." Paul didn't finish his sentence before standing up and running out of the room. 

"He's probably constipated," Richie said. 

Bill laughed. "Paul is a weirdo. He has th-these episodes sometimes."

"Episodes?" Richie furrowed his eyebrows. 

"Yeah, he freaks out on us sometimes." Eddie mumbled. Richie couldn't help but notice how Eddie still wouldn't make eye contact with him. 

Beverly stood up. "Okay guys, let's go to the recreation room and get a nurse. We're going to get in trouble if don't."

Everyone silently agreed and made their way to the recreation room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter! Was such a pain to write, but Richie met everyone and it might be a little boring next chapter but will have a pretty good twist at the end ;) stay tuned, love you all <3


	3. Still Feels The Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie goes through the daily routine that he'll be following for the next month or, if he's unlucky, two months. He discovers a dark secret about someone from the group.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this super long chapter, took me forever hehe ♥️ If you want to communicate with me more, I have an editing account on instagram called @gxldenpurity ! I'm only just starting out but I'm having a kinda hard time so it would be really appreciated if you gave it a follow and sent me a DM so we could talk :) you don't have to send me a DM or even follow, just checking it out would mean so much!

Richie sunk into an armchair in the corner of the room while everyone sat around the tables. He looked over to the table and saw Stan staring at him. He quickly looked away, but Richie couldn’t shake the feeling that someone was jealous of him – scared, even. 

Why would Stanley be scared of Richie? 

Before Richie could question it further, a nurse burst into the room. “Why the hell aren’t you all in group therapy?”

The nurse looked between everyone’s confused faces, before Richie stood up. “I’m sorry, but one of your ‘helpful’ psychologists freaked out on us and ran out on us.”

The nurse looked baffled. 

“What… Richard, did you cause this?”

Richie laughed. “Pardon me, Sherlock Holmes. I regret to inform you that I wasn’t the cause of this, right Stanley?”

Stan looked up from the ground and narrowed his eyes at Richie. “Uh… it wasn’t anyone’s fault…”

“Well, then I think you all better head to the cafeteria. Lunch is about to be served anyway,”

When no one moved, the nurse sighed. “Come on, I’ll take you myself.”

The nurse opened the door and everyone one walked out of the room silently. The walk to the cafeteria was silent and awkward, Bill brushing his arm against Richie’s occasionally, sometimes on purpose, Richie thought. When they entered the cafeteria room, they all sat around a large table while the food was still being cooked. 

Richie was seated in between Bill and Eddie, to Stan’s dismay. Richie’s stomach had butterflies, and he noticed how fidgety he was. He knew it was because of Bill, and he hated it. He hated how he was starting to like some of these people, even though he had been there for only a few hours. 

When lunch was served, barely anyone spoke except for a few words from Bill and Beverly every now and then. Richie tried to speak, but his voice got caught in his throat too many times so he ended giving up. 

Richie’s left arm started to ache extremely, to the point where he had to drop his fork down onto his plate with a loud splat. 

“What’s wrong, R-Richie?” Bill asked. 

Richie shook his head. “Nothing, this food is just disgusting!”

Nearly everyone chuckled and silently agreed, all except Beverly. She was staring at Richie far too long for it to be funny. They made eye contact for a while, and Beverly looked away. Richie thought she was very pretty, and he could potentially see him with her. Except there was Bill. 

Richie didn’t eat for the rest of the evening, his left arm aching more and more every minute. He was extremely fidgety, but no one questioned it. A lot of them fidgeted a lot themselves.  
A doctor then came back over with a clipboard. He smiled at everyone and wrote something down. 

“Hey guys, just the usual. You’re Richie, right? I’m Doctor Brennar, I’m the health instructor here. I check up on how you’re eating, and if your weight is fine. If you have a bad injury, I’m the one you usually come to. Now, how’d everyone feel today? Sick of the food yet?” The doctor brightened. 

Everyone shuffled. 

“It’s getting a little boring… thank god it changes every week,” Ben mumbled. 

The doctor furrowed his eyebrows at Bens plate. He had barely touched it. 

“I’m glad you’re honest. We’ll have a chat later,” the doctor scribbled something onto his clipboard. “Beverly, you’re doing great. So is everyone else, except for you Richie. I suppose you’re only getting used to eating this stuff, so I’ll give today a pass. Ben, I’ll call a nurse to come get you later on and we can have a talk. I’ll see you all tonight.”

Everyone nodded and Doctor Brennar, and everyone’s eyes lingered over to Ben. No one had time to say anything before a nurse swept into the room and lead them into the recreation room where they would have some free time before being sent to singular therapy. 

Richie walked over to the corner where there were board games and small tables. Next to the shelf with the board games was a large bookshelf with old, mangled books that looked like they had survived World War Two. 

As Richie picked one up, the dust flew in his face, making him cough and drop the book. 

“Jesus, fuck! Have these books been here since the 1800’s? They look as old as my mom!” Richie exclaimed. 

Everyone turned to look at Richie, Bill laughing. “Richie, I don’t think you should be dissing your mom in that way,”

Richie shrugged. “Why not? She’s the reason why I’m in this hellhole.”

Beverly opened her mouth to add a comment, but got cut off by the door bursting wide open and a large trolley strolling through. Behind it was a male nurse with a bored expression plastered onto his face. 

He stopped the trolley in the middle of the room and grabbed his clipboard out. “Alright guys, it’s that time of the day. Please line up.”

Eddie was the first to be in line. He was looking at the floor and his nails were digging into his arm, his knuckles white and his arm was red. Richie wasn’t sure if it was the first time Eddie had done something like this, or if it was something he did regularly. He made a note to ask Bill when he got the chance. 

When Eddie let go of his arm and downed the cup of pills, Richie noticed that Eddie regularly did that. It could have been a way of self harm, seeing as they weren’t allowed anything that allowed them to do that to themselves. Richie felt a twang of pain in his arm where Eddie had remaining scars, and the pit in his stomach became deeper.  
Bill got handed his cup of pills and he slowly took each one of his pills. Richie noticed that Bill only had two, and Eddie had three. 

Richie got handed a small cup of pills that were extravagant colours. There were five of them, presumably more than any one else had. Richie slowly lifted the cup to his lips and let the pills fall into his mouth, each of them tasting bland. 

He got given a small cup of water and drank that quickly to get the thick pills down his dry throat, and then walked over to Bill and Eddie. Eddie looked rather sick, and Bill looked very calm. 

“Hey Eds, are you okay?” Richie asked. 

Eddie didn’t even look at Richie. “I’m fine. And don’t call me Eds, I don’t like it.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry honey. Would you like me to call you darling instead?” Richie joked. Eddie just rolled his eyes in response. 

Richie silently laughed to himself. He was feeling beyond anxious, knowing that he would have to go to singular therapy and eventually unwrap the horrid white bandages and have a look at his still fresh wound on his left wrist. He could feel the pain making it’s way through his entire arm, and he wanted it to stop. He wanted the whole world to stop. 

“Hey Richie, d-d-do you wanna p-play a game? You c-could choose, seeing as you’re n-new,” Bill asked. 

Richie’s heart skipped a beat, but he quickly covered it up. “Yeah sure, I hope this place doesn’t have shitty games.”

They wandered over to the corner and Bill sat at one of the small tables. Richie got out connect four, seeing as he was best at the game than anything else. Richie was smart, he could give himself that. But he was also manipulating and controlling, and he hated himself for it. He got it from his mother side, and his stubbornness from his father. 

Richie sat across from Bill and set up the game. For the twenty minutes, all they did was play connect four and laughing together. Richie had won about seven times, and Bill only three. Richie couldn’t stop laughing at Bill being distressed about the game, until it was ruined by a nurse coming in. 

“Time for singular therapy. I would like to take Bill, Eddie, and Beverly. Someone else will come back for the rest of you.” The nurse rudely said. She held the door open for the three to follow her out. 

Bill looked at Richie. “I’ll see you soon,”

“Yeah, yeah. Good luck in there,” Richie smiled genuinely at Bill. Bill got up and walked over to the nurse, his hand scrunched up into a fist. Richie couldn’t help but feel worried for Bill. He obviously didn’t want to go either. 

The next half an hour were hell for Richie, Mike was too anxious to even read his book and Ben just looked very calm. Stan, on the other hand, didn’t have an expression on his face. He looked empty and broken. 

“Do you have a problem, Tozier?” Stan snapped. 

Richie chuckled. “Stan the man speaks. I don’t think it’s you who should be asking me if I have problems with you clearly so hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Stan scoffed. “You’re annoying, and rude. And disruptive, and…”

“And what? Broken? Because if you are here then we are very much alike, Stanley.” Richie leaned forward in his chair and put his hands on his knees. 

“We are nothing alike,” Stanley balled his hands into a fist. 

“Another incorrect fact! We are so alike, and you hate it. I’ve been here for a day, and I know you already. So come on, Stanley. Why are you so afraid of me?” Richie pressed

“Richie, come on…” Ben tried to intervene, but no one listened to him. 

Stan stood up. “Why would I be afraid of you?”

“Because I remind you so much of yourself, and you’re scared shitless. Just accept it, Stanley. I have you figured all out,” Richie stood up as well. 

Stan started to move forward to Richie before Mike stood up and put a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. 

Stanley looked at the ground and turned away. He didn’t say anything, he just went back to sit down on the couch. His fists were still balled up, and he kept looking down at the ground. Richie went to sit back down as well. 

The next twenty minutes were silent and awkward. It wasn’t long before Bill, Beverly and Eddie came back into the room. The nurse called out the remaining names, and Richie stood up and walked over to Bill. 

“Hey,” Richie said. 

“Hey.” Bill replied. They looked at each other for a bit, before Richie smiled and walked over to the nurse. She led them down the hall and dropped Stan off by a room, and then Mike, and then Richie. 

“I’ll come to collect you in an hour.” The nurse sighed and walked off with Ben. Richie had the feeling that Ben wasn’t just going to his normal therapist, but to Doctor Brennar. Richie got weird vibes off of that guy. 

Richie entered his room, which was numbered #291, and saw a young woman sitting on a seat in front of a another chair. She looked up from her clipboard and smiled brightly at Richie. 

“Ah, so you’re the Richie Bill was talking about!” She stood up and walked over to Richie. “I’m Doctor Peter, but you can call me Scarlett during our sessions.”

Scarlett shook Richie’s hand and led him to the other chair where he took a seat. “I’ll be your therapist for the time that you’re here. I take you and Bill. I hear you and Bill have gotten along pretty well,”  
Richie smiled. “Yeah, Bills great.”

“That’s good that you’re making friends. How do you like it here?”

Richie’s smile dropped. 

“It’s fine,” Richie lied. “I try not to think of that stuff anymore.”

Richie lied his way through most of the session. Questions were thrown at him about if things were alright at home, and he just lied. He didn’t want to get better. He wanted to get out. 

“Now Richie, everything you’ve told me the past hour has been a lie. Why is that?” Scarlett questioned. 

Richie furrowed his eyebrows. “No it hasn’t…”

“Another lie. I get it, you feel worse than ever. You’re focused on getting out, not getting better. It’ll take time, Richie. You’ll want to die every day for god knows how long. But you’ll get better. You have to work for it though,” Scarlett smiled sadly at Richie. 

A tear fell down Richie’s cheek and he quickly looked away. “No one knows how I feel.”

Scarlett nodded. “You’re right. No one knows how you feel because you’re the one feeling it, no one can fully understand what’s going on in your head, but we are here to help you get better. The least we can do is keep you alive, but if you’re willing to seek help then we are here for you. It’s up to you what you choose next. 

“I believe our times up, Richie. I’ll see you tomorrow, and we’ll have some real talk tomorrow. On your way back you’ll go to the nurses office to…” Scarlett trailed off, as she avoided eye contact with Richie. 

A knock in the door gave Richie the notice that it was time to go. He mumbled a thanks to Scarlett, and exited out of the door to see the rude nurse standing with Stanley, no Mike or Ben. 

“Where’s everyone else?” Richie asked. 

The nurse rolled her eyes. “I believe that’s none of your concern.”

Richie laughed. “I believe it is, seeing as I’ll be here with them for the next month or so and would like to know where my friends are,”

“Our job is to keep you alive, not help you out with friends. You and Stan are going to the infirmary, no questions are to be asked anymore.”

Richie rolled his eyes and followed the nurse along with Stanley. Stanley didn’t look at Richie once, which made Richie feel the slightest bad. 

When they reached the nurses office, Richie saw another male doctor leaning against the desk with a red box beside him. 

“Hey boys, welcome Richie. My names Doctor Samson, and I’ll be changing your bandages until they heal.” The doctor stated. 

Richie took a glance at Stan to see that he still had the plain expression on his face, and was surprised to see that he didn’t seem to care why Richie was there. 

“I’m just going to unwrap them, clean your wound and rewrap it, it shouldn’t take very long.” Doctor Samson noted, seeing the worried expression upon Richie’s face. 

Richie gulped and held up his left arm, and slowly unraveled his sleeve to reveal a blood stained bandage. The doctor unwrapped the bandage, pain seaming through every inch of Richie’s body, and revealed a large gash upon other scars. 

The doctor turned away and grabbed a white bottle out of the red box, and a cotton ball. He dipped some sort of liquid onto the cotton pad and turned to Richie. 

“This might sting,” the doctor pressed the cotton pad onto Richie’s wound, making Richie’s pain multiply by ten. 

The doctor slowly dabbed the cotton ball along Richie’s gash, and eventually Richie pulled away. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” Richie yelled. Stan looked at Richie and shook his head quickly. 

The doctor chuckled. “I’m applying some rubbing alcohol to your wound,”

Richie looked at Stan, only to see him shaking his head still, as if he were telling him to shut his mouth for once.

Richie gulped and handed his arm back to the doctor, and the doctor quickly wrapped his arm back, tighter this time. Almost as if he were trying to make it harder for Richie to get them off. 

Stan was up next. When Stan slowly pushed his sleeve back, he could see the same bandage, except it wasn’t bloodstained. Richie stiffened up, and looked up at Stan who was looking at him directly. They proceeded to look at each other the whole time while the doctor performed the same process with Stan, and he didn’t flinch once. 

It was hard to watch, Richie thought. Hard to watch other people experience the same pain he was going through, and maybe even worse. 

When it was over, the doctor lead them out of the infirmary. 

“I’ll see you boys next time. Have a good day,” as soon as Richie and Stan left the room, the doctor quickly shut the door behind them. The walk back to the recreation room was silent and awkward. 

Richie contemplated for a while what he were to say to Stanley. 

“See, we are the same.” Richie blurted out. He figured that was the wrong thing to say rather quickly. 

Stan stopped walking and stared at Richie, before shoving him and pinning him to the wall, Richie’s shirt clutched in between Stan’s scrunched up hands. Stanley’s breaths were heavy and fast, while Richie was rather calm about the situation. 

“Maybe we are the same,” Stan whispered. “But we are both very different from each other.”

“We’ll always be different to each other, Stanley. But you can’t deny that we have something that others don’t. We’ve experienced the same fucked up shit,” Richie said, indicating to Stanley’s wrist.

Stanley’s eyes turned soft, and he slowly let go of Richie. 

“Sorry,” Stan chuckled a bit. “I don’t know why I was so hard on you. I got here a week ago but I got pretty close to people for once, I guess I was just defensive.”

Richie smiled at Stan. “I get it. I don’t have any friends back home either. Are we cool?”

Stan nodded. Richie held out his hand, which Stan slowly shook. 

“I knew as soon as I saw you,” Stan started. “You were someone else.”

Richie laughed. “If that’s your way of calling me retarded, I support it.”

Stan rolled his eyes, and they made their way back to the recreation room. When they got back, they saw everyone sitting in a circle and talking. Stan and Richie joined them, sitting next to each other and talking to themselves. They could tell everyone was interested in what happened while they were gone, but no one questioned it. 

Dinner went by quickly for Richie, probably because he was comfortable so time went by quickly. Before he knew it, he had taken his medication, showered (they were only allowed ten minutes with supervision), and got taken back to his room for lights out. 

The same nurse in which Richie called Shirley Temple had made sure he got comfortable in his own bed. His room was beside Bill’s and Stan’s, much to his delight. 

“I’ll come check on you in two hours, sleep well. See you in the morning,” Shirley Temple smiled at Richie. Just before she turned the light off, Richie spoke up. 

“Wait! Sorry – what’s your name?” 

The nurse seemed baffled by this question. “My names Miranda.”

Richie nodded. “Cool. Goodnight.”

The light switched off, and Richie closed his eyes. For a long time, he couldn’t get to sleep. Thoughts had kept slowly creeping into his mind, the thought of actually getting out of the ‘mental home’ and going back to his shitty life. He knew there was no hope for recovery. It was death or nothing. 

Richie didn’t feel anything that night. He lay there lifelessly for god knows how long. He only knew how long it had been when the nurse came to check on him two hours later, opening his door and shining a light on his face. 

Just as Richie was slowly drifting to sleep, an ear piercing scream erupted through the hall. Richie sprung out of his bed and ran out of the room to see Bill standing outside of his door.

“Are you okay?” Bill asked quickly. 

“Yeah, I am. What was that?” Richie replied. Before Bill had time to answer, another chilling scream shred through the hall. 

Bill stiffened. “It’s Beverly,”

Richie opened his mouth, but two male nurses and a doctor came running down the hallway. Richie grabbed Bill’s hand in fear. 

Stanley then came out of his room, his hair ruffled and his eyes heavy with sleep. “Beverly?”

Bill nodded. 

“Let me go! Let go of me!” Beverly’s screams were heard through the hall. 

Another male nurse came running down the hall just as Eddie was coming out of his room across the hall. The nurse shoved Eddie, and he crashed into his door, falling flat on his back. 

“Eddie!” Richie called out. He let go of Bill’s hand and ran over to him and helped him up. 

“Don’t touch me,” Eddie gasped. He was having trouble breathing, but there wasn’t anything Richie could see to help him. 

“We have to get him to the infirmary,” Stan called out. 

“STOP! I SAID LET ME GO!” Beverly screeched once again, making a Richie’s hairs stand on end. 

Richie helped Eddie up and put his arm over his shoulder. Eddie was still protesting, but Richie led him to the infirmary. 

Bill and Stan stayed behind, much to Bill’s dismay. 

Eddie was gasping the whole way, making Richie full with worry every second that passed. When they got to the infirmary, they knocked firmly. When no one responded, Richie just burst in.

Standing in the middle of the infirmary were Mike and Miranda the nurse.

“What the fuck are you two doing in here?” Richie yelled. 

Mike didn’t say anything except for step back from Miranda. Miranda immediately noticed Richie supporting Eddie and rushed over to him. 

“What’s wrong with him?” She asked. 

Eddie sunk to the ground, and Richie struggled to hold him up. “I think he’s having an asthma attack,”

Miranda nodded and lead Eddie to a chair, and gave him an inhaler. 

“Richie, go back to bed. We’ll take care of Eddie.” Miranda noted. 

“We’ll?” Richie questioned, eyeing off Mike. 

Mike still didn’t say anything, he just walked out of the room. Beverly’s screams we’re still heard, but getting fainter and fainter every passing second. Eventually, Richie left Eddie and Miranda and ventured back to his own room.

He opened the door to see Bill sitting on his bed. 

“Hey, R-Richie,” Bill stuttered. 

“Hey Bill,” Richie sat next to him. “Everything okay?”

Bill shrugged. “I’m worried about Beverly. She was getting so much better, but this will set her recovery back. She’ll be here a while,”

Richie nodded. “Everything will be okay.”

They both sat in silence for the rest of the night, neither of them moving. Eventually they both fell asleep, Bill leaning against the wall and Richie asleep in his lap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed, next chapter should be up in a few days and it's where Richie becomes sadder and it'll make me super sad :( but you see Richie struggle a lot and something has happened to Beverly! Stay tuned, and remember to give @gxldenpurity a check out too xx


	4. Richie gets truly confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie deals with what happened in last nights incident, and has a moment with Eddie and a spider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, happy new year! Enjoy this pretty long chapter :)

The morning was the worst morning Richie had ever had. He woke up in Bill’s lap, which he found rather awkward. He scrambled to find his glasses, and quickly shook Bill awake.

“Hey, wake up,” Bill fluttered awake, looking confused to see Richie in front of them.

“Oh, g-g-good morning Richie. What’s the time?” Bill asked.

Richie shrugged. “I dunno, it’s pretty early though. We should check on Eddie, see if he’s back in his room or if he’s still in the infirmary.”

All of the memories from last night came flooding back into Richie’s mind, and he sat back down. He held his head in his hands, and groaned.

“What’s wrong?” Bill asked.

Richie shook his head. “I hope Beverly’s okay,”

Bill nodded in agreement.

“And for some reason…” Richie started. “For some reason, Mike was in the infirmary with one of the nurses.”

Bill shrugged. “Maybe he ha-had a headache or something.”

“But… he was acting weird.”

“Mike d-d-does that. He grew up with no one his age, because he was homeschooled. He’s v-very nice though, and helps us more than anyone helps him. B-best not to question that,” Bill smiled at Richie.

“Yeah,” Richie agreed. They both got up from Richie’s bed, and walked out into the hall. They walked past Stanley’s room to see he was busy sitting at his desk, drawing on a small piece of paper.

“Hey, S-Stan. What are you doing?” Bill walked into Stan’s room, Richie following close behind.

“Hey guys,” Stan held up his paper to show a bird. “I saw this bird outside and he looked pretty cool. Usually I would have taken a photo or something, but I don’t have a camera and they took my bird watching book.”

Richie chuckled. “You have a fucking bird watching book?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Better than a porn magazine,”

“I’ll have you know, Stanley, that I get so many ladies that I don’t even need a porn magazine. I just whistle and they come running to me,” Richie joked.

“And by ‘ladies’, you mean Bill?” Stan raised his eyebrow.

“Please, someone as good as Bill couldn’t possibly keep up with me.”

“Okay, end of conversation.” Bill laughed.

Richie chuckled a bit. Before anyone could say anything else, a bell rang through the hall.

“We better g-go, before the nurses come and crucify us to hurry up.” Bill noted.

“Interesting word choice,” Stanley furrowed his eyebrows. “They’re not nuns.”

“They sure fuckin’ act like it. They’re all evil,” Richie noted.

The three walked out of the room and followed a blue line that lead straight to the cafeteria. They walked inside to see just about everyone sitting at the table, except for Eddie. Beverly was sitting in the very corner away from everyone.

Richie walked over and sat next to her. “Hey, Beverly.”

She didn’t say anything. Richie noticed her hair was a lot shorter than it was yesterday. Her hair was quite long yesterday, but this morning it was cut so short it looked like Richie’s haircut.

Richie took a glance at Bill and Stanley. She looked extremely fragile and hurt, Richie had never felt so bad before.

Their food got served to them, a small plate of two pieces of bacon and one egg. Richie got up and got a glass of orange juice, and sat back down next to Beverly. She still hadn’t moved, but she was clutching her knife and fork. While everyone was starting to slowly eat, Richie couldn’t help but notice how much Beverly started to shake. Her knuckles had turned white, and her face was expressionless.

“Beverly?” Ben spoke up.   
Beverly didn’t have time to respond. Two nurses came over and gently lifted her up from the table and lead her to the exit.

Richie exchanged nervous looks with everyone around the table.

When they all finished their breakfast, the same doctor came back around with the same clipboard and counted their cutlery before shortly taking a note on how much they ate.

Richie had wondered where Eddie was. He hadn’t seen the little guy all morning, and was rather worried.

When a nurse came back over to take them to group therapy, he popped the question.

“Richie, Eddie is fine. He will meet you guys in group therapy.” The nurse said.

They were led to the room they were in yesterday to see a new therapist sitting next to Eddie.

Richie instantly went to sit by Eddie. Eddie looked at Richie weirdly.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asked.

“Sitting next to you. Is it a crime?” Richie smiled at Eddie. Eddie just rolled his eyes in response.

Once everyone had sat down, the therapist clapped her hands. “Good morning everyone. My names Cara. We are going to go around in a circle and introduce ourselves, and tell us of your root, and how you’re going to overcome it.”

Everyone fidgeted in their seats. They clearly weren’t exactly comfortable with answer such an upfront question.

Eddie was first. He groaned an protested, but Cara only pressed on.

“Everyone has to do it, Eddie. Better get it over and done with.” Cara tried to reason with him.

Eddie shook his head. “I… I don’t want to say it.”

Cara opened her mouth to speak, but Richie cut her off. “With all due respects, ma’am. But Eddie is clearly uncomfortable with saying his ‘root’, whatever that is, and it’s pretty rude of you to force him to say it,”

Cara raised her eyebrows at Richie. “If Eddie doesn’t want to say his root, then that’s fine. Do you want to say yours?”

Richie scoffed. “I’m Richard, ‘Richie’, Tozier. And I’m in here because my parents forced me to come. I don’t need any help, this is all bullshit.”

“You’re angry, Richard. I understand, but you need to let us help you,” Cara spoke softly, but Richie only scoffed.

“Sure, whatever. I’m fine with all of this, by the way. Keep asking us questions that make us feel uncomfortable, and pretend that everything’s okay with everyone.”

Cara stiffened. “Do you need to go see the head mistress?”

Richie stared at the floor, contemplating his answer. “No… no I don’t.”

“Then we’ll carry on. We’ll leave that activity for another day. Can everyone stand up please?” Cara smiled at everyone.

Richie stood up and glanced at Eddie, who was looking nervously at him. Richie winked, and Eddie rolled his eyes.

Cara picked up a square ball from underneath her chair and showed it the ‘class’. It had small writing on all of the sides, and was too colourful for Richie’s taste.

“This ball has eight sides, and two questions on each of the sides. I’m going to throw it to someone, and who ever catches it has to read aloud one question from the side they got. Are we ready?” Cara smiled excitedly at the group.

Cara threw the ball in the air, and it landed straight in Mikes hands.

“Uhh, it asks me ‘what’s my favourite childhood memory’,” Mike read. “Probably when I was young, and my grandfather had taught me how to ride a horse.”

“Very good, Michael! Now throw it to someone else,”

Mike threw it straight at Richie way too fast, hitting Richie right in between the nose, knocking his glasses off.

“What the fuck?” Richie yelped. His vision was blurry as he fumbled for his glasses on the ground.

Someone picked them up and put them straight into Richie’s hand. He put on his glasses to see Eddie glaring at him.

“Thanks, Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie snapped at him.

Richie picked up the ball and looked at the side facing him. There were two questions pasted on the front.

_What is your favourite thing to do in your free time?_

_What would you do with your mother on a Sunday?_

Richie scoffed. “Well this is fuckin’ ironic,”

“You’re gonna need to work on your language, Mr Tozier. What is your question?” Cara asked.

“Well, it says here, ‘what would you do with your mother on a Sunday?’,” Richie gulped.

“I wouldn’t do anything except for maybe put away her alcohol or take her back to bed, or even clean up her own vomit that she’s drowning in. Just the usual.” Richie wanted to say. But he didn’t.

“Uh… she would sometimes let me help out with baking or cooking, and then she would make me play a board game with her,” Richie lied. It hurt him to lie this way, especially when he was so angry with her all the time. He couldn’t let them know how bad everything was at home, they could keep him longer, and that’s the last thing he wants.

Cara smiled at him. “She seems like a very nice woman. We can meet her at family therapy,”

Richie snapped his head up at the words, family therapy. No one told him everyone had to actually meet his parents.

The game continued on, but Richie couldn’t focus. He was scared at what his mother or father would have to say about his condition in front of everyone he had just met.

When the ball came to Richie, there were two new questions across the front.

_Do you have a favourite animal, and why is it your favourite animal?_

_What helps you get through the day?_

_This ones fucking easy to answer,_ Richie thought.

“What’s my favourite animal and why,” Richie repeated. “Probably a meerkat, because they are just funny to look at.”

No one seemed to notice that Richie was awfully quiet the whole time, and never protested about anything. When he got a question, he answered bluntly. Everyone must assume he’s stopped caring to actually pay attention, but it was the complete opposite. He was too scared to focus on anything but the rest of his life.

When group therapy was over, they were all led back to the recreation room. Another doctor who Richie didn’t recognise was standing in the middle of the room holding another clipboard.

“Hope everyone brought their diaries, because we are going to be doing a self reflection.” The doctor spoke up. Richie looked around at everyone pull out their diaries from all over the place. Stanley was already holding his, same with Ben, but Mike and Bill had tucked their diaries into their pants and pulled them out. Richie looked over at Eddie to see that he wasn’t holding anything.

“Uh… where did you guys get those?” Richie asked.

The doctor laughed. “You’re the new kid. Your diary should be in the draw of your desk in your room. I see you don’t have yours either, Eddie. You two better go get them. Be quick about it.”

Together, Eddie and Richie walked out of the recreation room and followed a red line back to their rooms. Richie scrambled around his desk to find his diary, and when he found it he saw a big, black thing resting underneath.

“Uh… hey Eddie! Can you come here?” Richie gulped.

Eddie walked into his room holding his diary and a pen. “What? What are you looking at?”

Eddie walked over to the desk, and instantly dropped his diary. Sitting in Richie’s draw, was a big, black and hair spider. Before Richie and Eddie could move away, the spider jumped out of the draw and onto the floor.

Eddie was the first to scream, which made Richie scream, and they both jumped on the bed screaming.

“What the fuck is that!” Richie screamed.

“I don’t fucking know!” Eddie screamed back. They were both holding each other as the spider ran around the room. “Do something Richie!”

“The fuck am I meant to do?”

Before Eddie could answer, the spider had crawled up onto the post of the bed and was making its way to the top of the bed.

Richie screamed and pushed Eddie off the bed, and the both ran out to the hallway. The fell on the floor, Eddie one top of Richie.

Eddie rolled off of Richie and laid next to him. “Have fun sleeping with that in your room,”

“No way, Eddie. I’m sleeping with you tonight,”

Eddie didn’t respond, he was looking down at Richie’s leg.

“Eddie, stop looking at my dick.”

Eddie shook his head, and slowly pointed to Richie’s leg. All of a sudden, he could feel something crawling up his leg. Richie looked down to see the same spider crawling up his leg.

Richie screamed, and started to slap his legs. He got up and started to slap every part of himself, and the spider dropped to the ground and started to run for Eddie. Eddie got up and ran into Richie, and the spider eventually ran away. Richie had his arms around Eddie, and they were both panting.

“That fucking spider…” Richie panted.

They didn’t notice they were still hugging each other until a nurse came running down the hall.

“What on earth is going on here?” The nurse yelled.

Richie let go of Eddie quickly and stepped away from him. “There was this massive spider on my desk, and then it was like following us and shit…”

The nurse raised her eyebrow. “I don’t see any spider,”

Richie rolled his eyes slowly. “That’s because it just ran away!”

“Sure it did. You guys better get back to the recreation room before you get into more trouble than you are in already. Off you go,” the nurse nodded towards the end of the hall.

Eddie and Richie made their way back to the recreation room, and Richie opened the door for Eddie. When they walked inside, they could see everyone staring at them and a smirk spread across everyone’s face, except for the doctors.

“Have a good time in there, boys?” The doctor raised his eyebrow.

Richie rolled his eyes. “There was a fucking spider!”

“Keep your language down,” the doctor snapped. “Take a seat boys. Open up your booklets, and I will begin explaining it to you, Richie.”

Eddie and Richie sat down together, and opened up their small square booklets.

“You get half an hour to write your reflection, please be thoughtful and actually write something useful down,” the doctor took a glance at Stan.

“I like drawing…” Stan mumbled.

“We know you do, Stanley. Anyway, you pretty much write the date and the time, and you tell your diary how you’re doing. No one will see it at all, but you will take it with you when you get home so you can look back on your road of recovery.”

“How cheesy,” Richie muttered under his breath.

He leaned against an armchair, away from everyone and opened up his diary. The pages were so clean and white, it gave Richie a sick feeling in his stomach. Everything has to be perfect here, Richie thought.

He wasn’t sure of the date nor the time, so he just scribbled down some useless words.

**DIARY ENTRY #1**

_1989??? Dunno what the date is._

_My names Richie Tozier. I’ve said my name so many times it makes me sound like a robot._

_I don’t need help. Everyone keeps telling me I do, but I don’t. I can’t live like this. I can’t live knowing what I’ve done to myself. I keep making friendships with these people and I know I shouldn’t. It’s too hard not to, and shitty things have happened ever since I got here. I must be cursed._

_Beverly Marsh, this really nice girl with red hair had an episode late last night. We saw her at breakfast, but she was shaking too badly and had to get taken away._

_Fuck, this place is screwed. I have to get out of here. It’s not doing anyone any good, only delaying the fuckin’ inevitable._

_Stanley Uris? I think his name is, hated me when I got here. Don’t blame him. But we made up, and to my ‘pleasure’ we are good friends now. I told myself not to get attached to anyone, but I did anyway._

_One of my other friends, Bill, has grown wayyy too attached to me. I can see it in his eyes, despite knowing me for so short of time. I feel different when I’m around him, like maybe there’s hope outside of this shithole of a town. But then I remember the reason why I’m in here. I’m never getting out of this town, if I live through the month or not._

_I don’t know what to do. I pretend like nothing’s wrong with me on the outside, I tell the therapists to fuck off and that nothing’s wrong with me. They treat me as if I need to be fixed. But I’m not broken, you see. I’m… I’m me. I can’t be fixed if I’m not broken._

 

**A FEW DAYS LATER.**

  
A few days went by until they all saw Beverly Marsh again. Her hair was still short, and she looked skinnier than she did when they last saw her, but she looked better.

They were eating breakfast when Beverly walked in and sat next to Ben.

“Hey, B-b-Beverly. How are you?” Bill asked, swallowing his food quickly.

Beverly smiled at him from across the table. “I’m… I’m actually pretty good. They kept me locked up in my own room for a while. Brought me my meals, let me go outside for an hour a day. It was good, but my mind…”

“You didn’t miss much, Bev. Apart from Eddie screaming like a little girl when he saw a spider in my room,” Richie winked at Eddie again, making him roll his eyes.

“You screamed just as much as me, dickweed. You should have seen your face when the spider was crawling up your leg,” Eddie teased.   
“No honey, you should have seen your face when you saw it climbing up my leg,” Richie’s jaw dropped to the floor and his eyes went big, impersonating Eddie. “R-r-rich-Richie-Richie!”

Eddie threw a cornflake on him. “Choke on that instead of your words.”

“Stop being gay with each other,” Mike said. “There probably wasn’t even a spider.”

“Says you, getting all giggity giggity with nurse Shirley Temple in the infirmary,” Richie raised his eyebrows and took a bite out of his apple.

Mike scoffed. “You don’t know what you’re talking about…”

Richie narrowed his eyes. “Hm… sure buddy.”

Beverly laughed. “Hold on, I thought you guys said I didn’t miss much?”

Stan sighed. “You didn’t. I’ll fill you in, though, since Richie is too busy flirting with everyone across the table.”

“Hey!” Richie protested, but Stan held a hand up.

“Basically, the night of the uh…” Stan trailed off. “Eddie started to have a panic attack because he’s a wimp, so Richie took him to the infirmary to see nurse Shirley Temple and Mike standing in the middle of the room being weirdos, so Richie got freaked out. And by the way, we play that stupid ball throwing game pretty much every group therapy session now because the therapist thinks it’s the only way to keep Richie calm.”

“Not true, it keeps me bored so I drift off…” Richie mumbled.

“Can you stop calling her nurse Shirley Temple?” Mike asked.

Bill shook his head. “N-n-not until you admit th-that you’re fraternising with the enemy.”

“But I’m not!”

“First step is denial, Michael.” Richie rested a hand on Mikes shoulder. Mike swiped it away and drank from his cup of orange juice, not saying anything else.

“D-did you guys hear? We get two hours of f-f-free time tomorrow instead of school,” Bill said with his mouth full.

“Isn’t that on weekends? So pretty much today?” Richie questioned.

Stan choked. “Richard, what day do you think it is?”

Richie shrugged. “Saturday, of course. I’m not stupid, Stanley.”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Frog face, why do you think we’ve only had school twice while you’ve been here? Those two times have been the past two days… do the math. You’re actually really good at it,”

“It’s Wednesday, Richie.” Ben said.

“I knew that, obviously. I was just messing with you guys…” Richie trailed off and stuffed some food into his mouth.

The day carried on as usual, everyone happy to finally spend time with Beverly. The one who was most excited for her return was Ben. Kept smiling at her and asking if she was okay all the time.

When it was time for self reflection, Richie didn’t bother writing much.

**DIARY ENTRY #4**

_1989, I know it’s Wednesday but I don’t actually know the date or the time…_

_Richie here. I feel better now that Beverly is back. Like a weight was lifted off of my chest. The voices are still there, though. And I get these headaches like something is trying to burst through my head._

_I feel the tiniest bit better, though._

**THE NEXT DAY, THURSDAY. 3:45AM.**

Richie awoke drenched in cold sweat. The room was dark and cold, the only light being the moon light shining through Richie’s barred windows.

Richie grabbed his glasses off of his bed cabinet, and shoved them onto his face. He looked outside of his room to see a nurse hurriedly run past.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Richie got up from his bed and walked out of his room. He looked down the hall to see the nurse standing outside of Mikes room at the very end of the hall. She raised her head at Richie, and turned and walked off.

Following an instinct, Richie followed the nurse. He walked around the bend of the corner to see the same nurse standing in the middle of the hall, staring at the ground. Richie slowly walked over to her.

“Are you even alive?” Richie asked. He instantly knew it was the wrong question to ask.

The nurse looked up at him, and Richie was horrified at what he saw. The nurse had a dark, pale face and hollow eyes like they had been gouged out. Her face was thin, and there was blood coming out of her mouth.

“Beep beep, Richie…” the nurse growled, her voice deeply and scratchy. She moved her fingers, the bones cracking one by one.

Richie wanted to run, but he was frozen solid to the floor. He watched as she was stood there, perfectly still.

The nurse then cracked her neck, and with a piercing scream she ran at Richie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooo an obvious cliffhanger ;))) yall probably know what'll happen next chapter, it's pretty predictable oops. I've written half of the next chapter already, it should be up in a few days :) love you guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter ♥️


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